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Mon, Apr. 8th, 2013, 08:30 am
A cat in your bed 1,2,3 Harry/Louis

Pairing: Harry/Louis
One Direction

Maybe it wasn't that bad, finding Louis in his bed

Sat, Apr. 6th, 2013, 11:10 pm
WIP -intro thingies-

They were all alone until they suddenly had each other.

When five boys find an add online they decide to apply and see where they land.

Is your life different from what you expected? Does no one understand you and have you lost your motive to live? Let us help you!
Camp Another way,
makes it possible to discover yourself and for you to make new friends. Bond with your teammates and see if you can get through the challenges set up by our staff. Cooperation and trust is everything when you face your future.

Click the link to fill in our application letter.

He had enough of it, the constant yelling, the crying and the smashed crockery set. His head hurt, from the sounds and the tears he tried to keep at bay. He could hear his sisters crying in the other room and how they whispered to each other, seeking comfort. Normally he would go to them, wrap his arms around the youngest and try to tell fairytale, a life of happiness and comfort. Today he didn’t, or more important, he couldn’t.
The walls he’d built were crashing and he didn’t know what to do anymore. He longed for what this house once was, a safe haven. Now he didn’t even know if he could still call it his home. He knew that if he stepped inside the other room that he would crash, without the certitude that he would ever get back up again. The oldest, he kept reminding himself. He is the oldest, he is the one that should protect those girls and he couldn’t break down in front of them. He needed to be strong.
Another crash with another screamed accusation. He sighed, shook his head and walked towards his computer, plugging in his earphones. Music was an escape, an escape from his so called ‘’happy family.’’ He laughed bitterly, they had never been a perfect family, they just knew how to keep up the images for the rest of the town.

He was done with it, the routine of his life. It felt like he was stuck in his own groundhog day. Every day he got the same greetings, the conversed with the same people and saw the same objects. He was sick of baking the same raspberry pie over and over and over again.

He hadn’t been himself for a long time, maybe he had never known himself. It was what bullying did to you. First you’ll be scared, dismayed and you’ll keep asking yourself what you did wrong, how you could change yourself so they would like you. Then you’ll get angry, defensive. What gave them the right to hurt you like that, physical as well as emotional. Once the militancy wore off it went from bad to even worse. You started to accept it, believe that they knew you, that they were speaking the truth.  That is where you hit the bottom of the ocean and you got lost inside the dark corners of your own mind. A never ending labyrinth of whispers, shadows and pinches.
Once his parents found out what happened inside the school gates, they had taken immediate action. The principle was called, teachers were informed and the parents of the bullies got called. It only made it worse, instead of blatant comments that were stopped by teachers, they started whispering. Gossip that carried through to school halls like hum and appeared in scrabbled lines onto the toilet stalls. At first they would wait for him in the corners he walked past while going home, once his dad found him covering up a bruise when he stepped into the room, he got introduced into the world of boxing.  It had made him physically stronger and he could defend himself. But walls inside your hide to protect your emotions and self-esteem were harder to train and built. He cared about others, his apologies and compliments were sincere and his words were spoken carefully. He still couldn’t grasp why they would bully, they could have been friends or at least acquaintances.

He had lost his touch when he lost her. The eyes, that once had made him paint the stars like they looked on a clear night, disappeared. The soft touches that felt like silk that once had made him caress his canvas with beautiful strokes of bluegreenred. Now those touches were gone and his hand had lost its gracefulness, strokes awkward and foreign. After while he got lost, he couldn’t express himself anymore, emotions stuck inside his head like a whirlwind.

The smile felt fake, artificial. His friends laughed at every joke but you could sense how they were forced. They had been friends for a long time, but half a year ago it became different. The weekly meetings died down to once a month and the once so cheery table during their lunch became quiet. He didn’t know what happened, where it went wrong. But now he felt so alone and scared and mostly alone. He was used to the group around him, the comfort of being listened to and being the listener. 

Wed, Sep. 5th, 2012, 09:54 am

Me writing a murderer!Harry with victim!Louis. Lets get this started.

He’d seen him for the first time at a bar. His last victim hadn’t lasted long and soon enough his body began asking for the thrill. So he went looking, for him. The one who would have the privilege to play along with his games, to join the wonderful event that would happen soon. He would be grateful later, happy to be lifted away from reality that soon would hit him. They all were, he would be no difference.
He knew he had to have patience, wait until the right moment to sway into the stranger’s life.

The street had the air of a film. A dark club with music pounding and lights blinding. Next to the building was a small alley that smelled like something was dying and the walls were covered with graffiti with provoking language on it. If you looked closely you could see a dark figure observing the crowd that tried to get past the security into the building. He stood completely still and the wind didn’t seem to reach his body. It was exactly like a film, which meant it wouldn’t end well. The stranger had left a path of destruction his whole life and soon that path would make his way through the town. They couldn’t prepare themselves, because they didn’t know what was coming. But it all would end bittersweet. With blood and tears.

Sun, Jul. 1st, 2012, 01:55 pm

Love, an amazing emotion that makes you happy and lets butterflies fly in your stomach.
You know I don’t like it. The so named feeling love confuses me to no end. When you feel sad, you just feel sad, when you’re happy, you’re happy. You can feel it all by yourself and it doesn’t change a thing.
When you are in love it makes you depended on other people, the one you love.
I’ve never felt love like they describe in books, movies. I like someone, when I see a guy I can think he’s handsome. When I see a girl I sometimes think she is pretty. But I’ve never felt like I could be really in love with any one.
I can hate someone, don’t like someone, like someone. But I’ve never had the feeling like I could say: ‘I love you.’
To be honest, I hate it because I can’t control it. 

So this is what happens when I've had too little sleep, and I let my mind run.

Fri, Jun. 29th, 2012, 07:18 pm
Saved - ot5

Title: Saved
Pairing: ot5
Rating: PG-13 (?)
Warning: Rape
:Fill 1d angstmeme

One of the guards gets a little too “hands on” with Niall and it takes a long time for the other boys to correctly interpret Niall’s withdrawn behaviour. They all slowly get him comfortable with displays of physical affection again.

They didn’t see it, the way his eyes would followed him. He’d first seen him when Paul introduced them to some new bodyguard while eating lunch. They’d all introduced themselves with bright smiles, but his eyes were just too much focused on him. He shrugged it off, his mind telling him that he was just becoming delusional through the lack of sleep. In the end he could only be angry at himself for not listening to his natural instinct.

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Fri, Jun. 29th, 2012, 07:14 pm
Worth it? Harry/Louis

Title: worth it?
Pairing: harry/louis
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: mentions of abuse.
A/N: fill for the 1Dkinkmeme.

He could still hear the screams ringing in his ears while he laid in the corner of the room, body broken and battered. Worthless, don’t deserve to live. The kicks in his stomach had sure bruised his internal organs and he could feel the foul taste of bile in his mouth. He knew he couldn’t return like this, Harry would be disgusted. Disgusting creature, why should I even care for you! Tomorrow the bruises would have formed, black covering his right eye. A blow he hadn’t expected, he had always avoided his face, until now. They wouldn’t miss you, your nothing to the band, otherwise they would have helped you. He folded his arms more secure around his knees, a soft whine escaping.

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Fri, Jun. 29th, 2012, 07:10 pm

So I decided to do something about my LJ since it's rather empty.
I'll first start with my two one shots that I've written.
Hopefully it'll become more, because the holidays will start soon, and I'll stay home.
Considering this country it'll rain and I'll barely leave the house.
No one will read this but yeah, I do keep my tumblr up to date and nobody looks at that either. ;)

Sat, Jan. 7th, 2012, 02:15 pm

When I see all the fanfictions here on livejournal, I've always got that feeling that I want to write some too.
But since my english grammar isn't the best thing you've seen, I always quit halfway a one shot.
But I've got a lot of dutch stories, well actually bromance one shots, in 1D style.
But at last I'm starting to understand livejournal, it's easier than tumblr.

Still my parents keep complaining that I should stop with the internet and should do something about school, but I can't find the power to look into a studiebook ...
Look the start from my first english fic.

The finger slowly trailed a pattern along my cheek ‘you know those curls just make you adorable.’ I smiled against his skin, while his other hand found his way in my hair. ‘Just like those cute dimples that appear when you enlighten us with your bright smile.’ My arms found their way around his waist and our legs tangled even more. ‘Since when are you such a fluff type.’ My warm breath hit his skin and I could see the goose bumps that appeared. Slowly I lifted my head and he showed me a cheeky grin ‘since I’ve been gifted with the most amazing boyfriend in the world.’ While saying he rubbed his nose softly against mine, giving small Eskimo kisses.  Softly giggling I tried to hide my burning cheeks against his chest, and I could feel his chest going up and down slowly, with his heart bouncing at a steady pace. But his finger lifted my chin up and his piercing blue eyes connected with mine ‘don’t hide babycakes, you know it’s the truth.’ He smiled at me and I could do nothing but smile back. My lips connected with his and too soon for my longing he pulled away, he laughed at my disappointed gesture ‘Don’t look like that, you’ve got me all night.’ My eyes started gleaming at that thought, but I brushed it quickly away ‘and do you still like the couch Mr. Tomlinson.’ Whilst saying I tugged the material of the red couch where we were lying on. He nodded happy and let his gaze fall to my lips ‘It reminds me of it every time I come into the room.’ I glanced happily at him ‘me too, a memory I never want to forget. He pulled me into a tighter hug and I could do nothing but think of that day.

It's something different from writing a letter in english class at school...

Tue, Jan. 3rd, 2012, 12:59 pm

Why I'm on live journal....?

Because some tumblr addicted people told me this is an amazing site
And I really should get an account, so now I'm here.
Altough it's gonna take me some time to understand this site...

So uhm... 'HI :D'